Obedience like Moses&Aaron

If God randomly showed up in a bush on fire, would you actually do what this burning shrub  was telling you?

 It's so crazy how our version of obedience and patience with the spiritual things in our life are so tiny in comparison to our good ole ancestors we read about in the B.I.B.L.E. Yet we still are really good at coming up with excuses as to how we aren't yet in our spiritual walk to take that chance. Or we decide that our life is too hectic in other areas to be able to put our all into what ever we think our heart is telling us to do.(ps thats actually God calling....) We are afraid of what a few people in our life might think of us...or what most people in our life might think of us. We like being lazy and relax during our "down time". We like having drinks occasionally in the evenings. We enjoy smoking a little you-know-what to make certain outings more enjoyable. We feel better when talk trash about that person we don't agree with. We lie to get out of things because we'd rather not take up our precious time for others. We want to spend the money on something else.

 What if everyone in the Bible gave into those ideas.

 I am still slowly yet surely working on my chronological reading plan. So theres Exodus where God comes to Moses (lucky....) and tells him to do some things. HUGE things. Freeing a whole nation of people huge. Moses does become a bit self conscious about his ability to speak to people,(but hey-we all have weaknesses. Where we are weak, He is strong ya know...) and kind of ticks off God a bit with his whining, yet he is obedient thru the whole situation, even when he didn't really want to. Even when people were annoyed with him. Even when he was threatened.

Can you imagine, you are doing your daily thing. For myself it would go like this-I just put the Bubbaluski in his booster seat with some cheerios and berries. I am going through the motions of making my coffee, about to rinse the coffee filter and BOOM out of no where, in the running water God is like " Hey Michelle. You need to go to a strip club and talk to the owner, and tell him to let all the women go so you can take them to church and change their lives."

I highly doubt I would be like, o.k. but let me bring my sister with me because she speaks better than I do. Then boss up into the joint and be like look dude, God told me to free these women.

I would first probably think I ingested some kind of chemical.

I mean, barely close out my twitter account and go to my youversion app when I feel like He is telling me to. 

Yet, back in the day. Moses and Aaron listened to everything God told them to do. They obeyed. They followed his orders and were disciplined in the ways they did everything. They didn't sleep in. Take a day off. They didn't use the powers God gave them selfishly. 

They saved a whole nation of people. Conquered every single obstacle placed in front of them. Through their obedience God gave them the strength they needed to fulfill the task he gave them. God wouldn't call you to something you aren't capable of doing. However, you cannot forget that you NEED to trust in HIM to get you through it. If you try to do it all alone, you will fail. Moses trusted in the power of God to part them waters. 

I'd like to see you make a whole dang river split in half so you could walk across the riverbed.

Today, I chose obedience every time I felt my heart(GOD) telling me to do something. 

Like right now for instance, I wanted to play S.W.T.O.R while the baby was napping. Instead, I blogged.(another thing I am not obedient or disciplined with)

Whoever you are that is reading this, try at least for the rest of today. Choose obedience. Every time. God blesses our lives so much more than we realize(have you noticed how beautiful the spring is?). Why can't we just do the little things he asks of us to bless others.

Luke 6:46 "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?47 As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like.48 They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.49 But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

BFFs

What is great about the holiday season is that I get to see people who I don't regularly see.

One person who I look forward to more than most ( no offense yaaalllll) is my "BFF" miss Jennifer Rose.

Sometimes I don't end up being able to see her due to her short time periods in town and her never ending "to-do and to-see" lists that she has while she is in town.

This year I was able to chill on whole day, the entire night & the beginning up thru the afternoon of the next day. We also have future plans for while she is still in town.

her and I have a ridiculous past full of hilarious situations, inside jokes and phrases. Our most embarrassing and the worse choices we have ever made were usually done together. We have gotten in trouble together, gotten each other through hard times, fought about nonsense, people tried to come between us,we tried to come between the other person and their boyfriend because we didn't like the less time we got to kick it with one another. We would disappear together, cry together, party together, sit around doing nothing together. We went through phases where we weren't apart unless the other person was showering and even then the other would generally be in the bathroom hanging out so we could chit chat. We went through phases where we barely saw each other and hated it. We have gone through phases where we wouldn't talk for months at a time, then pick right up where we left off like we never skipped a beat.

I love this girl so much.

Just doing nothing but reminiscing and joking all night made me feel whole again. I didn't know I was missing anything until I felt whole with her.

I love that God not only made a perfect lover for most us, but that He blessed many of us with a perfect friend, that no matter the situation you always know they will be there to listen and trust and help you through. That no matter the distance- your friendship will always be as whole as it was during you most inseparable times.

What's funny is that when we first met each other people tried to keep us from being friends. They would make up tall tales about us to the other person trying to, I dunno, scare us from wanting to be friends. I am so glad we laughed at those weirdos.

I love the way God reveals things about you through other people. How he uses people to open up yours eyes to see the reality in front of you.

The time He gave me to spend with my "BFF" allowed me to see my life from someone else's eyes and realize even more than I already knew how absolutely imperfectly perfect my life is. How blessed I am.

I love the way He uses our memories as lessons and as an encouragement.

Don't take for granted the simple conversations with an old friend. There are blessings in everything

Our first Christmas

So0o0oo0o0o it's Christmas, about 11 pm. The baby is sound asleep, and baby daddy and I are in our amazing basement, watching a new movie we received as a gift from our awesome grandparents earlier. 

This year we hosted Christmas Eve with my siblings and their littles, my father, and Ry's grandparents, && then we hosted Christmas day with just us and his grandparents. I was super nervous about it all because we live in a smaller sized house (townhouse) and at one time there were nine adults and six kids one cat and a ton of food and of course little hands holding big cups of colorful liquid. Plus a million present with too much wrapping paper being ripped apart by sticky fingers. I sound a little glass empty about this all. Well, I was feeling that way at first. Nervous and anxious that someone would be annoyed by  the size, someone would hate the food, make a rude comment about something I just knew something anything would go wrong. I over prepared, over analyzed and stressed myself out when in the end....

Everything was perfect.

The food was awesome. 
Cups were spilled- and no one died
Sticky fingers were everywhere and I think there will forever be a carmel finger print of my niece Teagan on my couch.
Everyone loved our place.
The immense amount of wrapping paper was awesome
The kids were all happy
The adults were all happy
The night ended with the whole family having rock band jam session(<~amazing<3)
Then once it was time to leave, we super cleaned super fast. Not a crumb out of place.

God uses everything in our life to teach us things. 


I realized not to take something happy; like an event bringing family together , and to turn it into a stressful situation. 


Not to overreact about the "maybe's"

I love my family.
My son
My Husband
and my Lord

Merry Christmas
I know this holiday is not about the gifts and food and parties and everything we have made it into, that its celebrating the birth of the Savior...

but I really am glad that we have this day to get together and blow our money on each other just to see a smile break the lips apart. To eat food we tell ourselves we can't eat because it has too much _______ in it. To be loud and hang out and see the person we normally would NEVER want to see and end up being thankful that we saw that person.

Good night


God Bless


Merry Christmas <3

Dear Santa,

This Christmas I have told everyone ( except my husband of course) that there is absolutely nothing that I need this year. I have more than I could have known that I ever wanted, and my needs are by far more than  fulfilled. But.....you are Santa and you could care less about needs. You only want to know what my little heart desires.

In that case

1. My neon has broken down. So I would like this to replace it. Slight modification though, I would like it to have a lime green pin stripe along the sides, all white leather with like green pin stripes stitched in. (Matching car seats of course. yes plural. No we are not expecting.)

2. I have like 4 tiny cutting boards. I wouldn't mind one big wooden one.More like a butcher block to be exact. Something like this will suffice

3. It has been about 2 years ( at the least ) since I have 
smelled like myself. Meaning-deliciouso. I have more

recently smelled like baby puke, cheerios, or just my son in general. Before that, I was preggo and the smell of everything and anything made me wanna upchuck. SOoooOOooo smelling like these would be great....just saying.







4. I want to go to Puerto Rico. I miss our family there. I miss everything about being there. There is a whole different feel to life when you are there. People are different. Everything is different. I miss the air, the heat, the palm trees, the water, titi vane (tee tee vahn-ee), I wanna go back. Asap. 

5. California. I haven't seen my brother in too long, and he means a ton to me. Meaning his one and only offspring little miss Ava Paige holds a dear spot in my heart because she's the only littlelittle that doesn't know Auntie Micky as the cooooolest auntie around. Last yet not least my sister in law is freaking amazing and thinks my best friend and I are ridiculous and we can always make her laugh and I love her laugh and basically everything she does is fabulous. 

6. Jennifer Rose. I would love a week of absolute Jen&Shellyness (at the very least) She could meet me while I am redeeming wish #4 like old times. Or we could go anywhere or nowhere. I would just love one more care free escapade with that lady. 

7. Last but not least. alone-wide-awake-ready-for-anything-attitude-kind-of-date with my husband. So we can pretend we are worry free baby free just getting to know and impress eachother all over again.

I haven't been perfect but I've been probably on the best behavior I have ever been on in my whole life this year.

(Did I mention Puerto Rico?)

Hide and Seek(written 2 weeks ago)&found this draft.

So as I am sure some of you (you meaning someone who I regularly interact with) have noticed, I have been rather M.I.A. lately. If you haven't then maybe I feel more missing than I really am. The men of my house were battling some kind of cold or something and while hangin back I had my own kind of battle that I didn't really realize.

I say that I have been "doing my own thing" or "laying low"

During my hermit like activity, things were pretty nice. Staying home and playing with Lukas having fun learning and laughing. Spending "me time" during the 5 minutes of quiet between the next household chore or video game playing that went down during his nap time.
Staying up late hanging out with my hubby being nerdy goofy us.

Why though, during my "me time" or "down town" or "laying low" did I have to go and avoid the word of God?

When I do this my "laying low" becomes an unhealthy self defeating lonely  short tempered depressed vacation from busy life. Apposed to just taking it easy and taking on less.

I feel like doing things that make life easier end up making life less rewarding.

When I am not doing as much ministry as I can handle. Or reading the word of the Lord our God throughout my day, I slowly yet surely drift off into this place-this sad sad world where I am not who I am. I am rude to my husband (not a ton lately but when I am rude its pretty rude..and undeserving...and just ..rude) I am short tempered.I alienate myself. I go through these dialogues in my mind making things seem so much more worse than they really are.

So by hiding from the truth, the Bible, church, ministry, friends, obligations- things that busy up your (my) life, I wasn't making things more leisurely. I was making things more complicated because I put a gap between the Lord and myself. This gap leaves room for the enemy to jump in and make the gap larger trying to deter me away from the amazing relationship I have with my creator. He's tricky and SO SMART its hard to realize when you (I) start giving into the trickery.

So again-by hiding from everything in attempts to be less busy and "enjoy" life a little more, I am doing the opposite. you cannot enjoy life fully without being in direct connection daily with Our God the Father. Alfa&Omega. The Great I am. Lord. Jesus. Yeshua. Abba Father. The Creator of everything that was, is and will be. The most beautiful, most high, most amazing artist. Yes! That guy!  Without Him life is so much less than it has ever been. Once you are filled with his glory, falling away from Him does damage to yourself(myself). Leaving room for the enemy to try and steal you from the light and throw you back into a life of dark lonely bondage.

Screw you bondage.

So yeah. The Lord is amazing. and when you hide, he will always seek you. Never leave, fail you, forget you.
Never hold anything you've done against you like black mail

He will never make you feel less than what you are but always make you want to strive to be better, stronger, smarter, healthier, so that you can reach other and show them the joy in life that comes with His  truth and love.

He is the father to the fatherless. He will always make you feel loved.


Why why why do I always fall away.




Ugh.


But here I am right now.
Realizing.
Changing.
Fixing things.

&&thats what matters

And then God laughed

I have never really been much of a planner. The idea of organization ( which I have changed in that area- now I NEED organization in my life a little bit, well at least inside my house) had always been something that brought on more frustration than it solved. I was always the fly by the seat of your pants kind of gal. Things worked out, things didn't-what ever. I was young. (still am shooooooot) So I started to get to a point where it was no longer living like a "free spirit"-it was becoming kind of irresponsible ( in my own eyes at least) to always be just going with the flow. I picked a random degree out of thin air to go to college for. I mean, I have always been a creative person so I thought I could put it to use. I also wanted to get into marketing somehow, so I thought design and production would be cool. So i went with it. The idea of having a plan freaked me out. It means I could fail. Or, I could succeed and have to then try to do something with myself after I get this degree-which I could also fail at.

I ignored that (not really) and then suddenly began making all kinds of plan. We ( Jen and I ) were going to  finish our degrees and move to California. We were going to get the most adorable apartment near downtown Huntington Beach, or somewhere amazing. We would work together, or close by. Our apartment would be ADORABLE and we would make TONS of friends and we would work our way up the chain  to eventually be the head of our own marketing company. I would handle the creative teams, she would handle the $$ and employees and stuff like that. I would be perfect, we would do everything together. We would own a boat, be invited to the VIP parties, go home flying first class and rent expensive rentals and bring home expensive gifts. And although we partied in high school we showed them. Eventually we might meet Mr.Right after dating and breaking the hearts of all the not-good-enoughs. Maybe get married and maybe have kids.

Then God laughed. 

Jen moved away.

I met Mr. More-than-I-ever-knew-I-always-needed. Got hitched. Got knocked up n popped out the most amazing kid.( Seriously you guys he blows mouth farts on my arms mid nursing session and then cracks up @ 6 months old)

She lives in Arizona in an apartment overlooking a lake. We see each other once a year and talk once a week.

Living without a plan, you don't aspire to achieve anything. You live in the moment which is fun but also can easily turn self-destructive. 


I have realized lately that although God laughs at our plans because His plan is THE plan, it is still important to at least have goals, and hopes and things to keep you moving to reach your potential. We just need to make sure we are in prayer and in the word to make sure that we have the discernment to know whether the goal/plan/aspirations we are daydreaming about are His and not our own selfish ideas for selfish desires. 

So now, I sort of organize. I have hopes and aspirations and goals. Small ones. acheiveable ones that will keep me growing. 

Do i look back and wish I had everything I used to want, ( well sometimes when I am having a woe is me day) No...(haha) 

I know I am so much more happy than I would have been. Although I do miss my bestie.

Emily Alyssa Rachel & Aniela are a few amazing women I have been blessed with in my life. We love talking and sharing and I know that they have some lessons in their life that would be great to learn from. Because I learn something new about life just about every time they open their mouths

Prioritize

Alright. So I am here thinking about what brings me the greatest joy right now, and also what my greatest trial is. My first thought would go to my son ( which right there is convicting because the first answer should be the Lord.) but that is an obvious answer because any mother would answer that way. That little smile they shoot at you just for saying good morning is enough, yet you get more smiles all throughout the day. My next thought of what brings me joy was the Lord, and being in the word(The Bible for yawl who aint familiar with Christiany lingo) which oddly then I felt bad because if Lukas is first should Ryan at LEAST be second? Except NO!The Lord should be first, then my husband Ryan and after that can be my little Luski boy (my son Lukas).
So maybe then my trial right now is that I need to appropriately arrange my priorities. If my heart were a pie chart, who would get the largest slice? Would they even all be equal or am I so wrapped up the joy that comes from being a mother that I have become selfish and created this joyful world where I am adored by my son and I adore him in return. I don't have to work for his love. He doesn't require obedience, or faithfulness. Maybe I have gotten lazy in my love language for my husband and my creator. 

Wait -- fix the order...My Creator and My Husband.

I think I have already been naturally working on this without even noticing though. Come to think of it, I have been in the word(The Bible) more than once each day lately, both reading the chronological plan on my phone app and just randomly picking up my Bible and randomly reading. My husband and I have been having a lot of fun. Once our son is asleep at night we just hang like we are dating or something. Watch tv while conversing and laughing, or doing random projects together making them fun, making kitchen creations with the random food leftovers or something. Just getting to know each other better (Our dating, engagement, marriage and first born son all happened within less than 2 years. 1.5 to actually be exact come to think of it...wow weird. We started dating January 12th 2010, had luke June 11 2011.hmm...) So we are just getting to our first real version of normal life as a couple. Which is a lot of fun and I am like in love with a different side of us.

So right now, I am finding joy in working out my issues.
Don't worry tho- I have a LOT more issues to vent blog about.